1st i wanna give a shout out to RON RON thanks for the e-mail...i hope everythin is well with u over there =)

and now...wut have i been doin lately? well...i think this is gonna be a long blog..lets see....

i quit my job...i got that job on tues, my 1st day was yesterday and i quit yesterday too...i went in, went home for lunch, and my ass didnt go back to the office...that was a cheap shot, i kno i kno....but i wasnt feelin it, 1st my dad was the one who got me the job (my boss or ex boss is my dad's friend)...it didnt feel rite workin for my dad's friend..blah...2nd what i made in the states for an hour, i get that for the whole day over here...trust me, that hurt! and i kno i shouldnt compare but i couldnt help it...and last but not least, i myself didnt wanna work but i felt like i was forced to take the job...i kne from the start the whole thing wasnt gonna work out..i woke up that mornin and got ready to go to work just to make my parents happy...pretty sad rite...yup, well i kno they're dissapointed in me and im sure they think im just bein a big baby...i admit the job was a good one cuz it was at ASEAN (Association of South East Asian Nations) its deff a big deal over here...but i was just not ready or more like dont want another mon to fri, 9 to 5 kinda job for now...speakin indo wasnt really a problem either, cuz they speak half indo half english at ASEAN, actually i was workin with these 2 white men and they speak indo...at one point i answered the fone and this lady ask me where i came from and how come i have an accent when i speak indo...that pissed me off even more!

so really, am i bein a big baby? im sure u guys think i am...but hear me out...maybe im just mad, maybe i just dont like how i live my life, maybe im just really missin my silly and my friends, i miss them soo much that it hurts and the 3 months that i've been here i still have nites where i cry myself to sleep and i just cant help it....i dunno what it is, im just not a happy camper, sumtimes i feel lost...and sumtimes i feel like ppl r always forcin me to do things i dont wanna do...was i lookin for a job? no...did i want to move back to indo? noooooooo...my friends r there, i had a job, i had my own car, etc..point is, i was happy with my life and now its gone! y did i have to move back? y do i have to start from scratch again? ppl say i will like it here after a couple of months, well i dont buy it...i honestly cant wait til i go back to the states...now i kno what it means when ppl say life is not fair, cuz it really isnt!

ugh i think im done bitchin...i've been really emotional lately and it doesnt feel good...